Brandari

[Joibs]

einusinni voru 2 tómatar að labba yfir götu,allt í einu kom bíll og keirði yfir annan tómatinn þá sagði hinn kondu þarna tómatsósan þín

[SteiniDJ]

Svona, kondu!

[Steini B]

Einusinni voru tveir tómmatar að labba yfir götu, en þá kom bíll og einn tómmaturinn hoppaði uppá bílinn og sagði '' hahah þarna eyðilagði ég brandarann ! ...

[HAMAR]

THE WEDDING TEST

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.

There was only one little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less.
She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view.
It had to be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations.
She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she
had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome.
She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.

She said, 'I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.'

I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment,
then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.

Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, 'We are very happy that you have passed our little test.
We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.'

And the moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car.

[Alpina]

THE WEDDING TEST

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.

There was only one little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less.
She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view.
It had to be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations.
She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she
had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome.
She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.

She said, 'I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.'

I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment,
then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.

Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, 'We are very happy that you have passed our little test.
We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.'

And the moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car.

hehe,, virkilega óvænt

[Zatz]

Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in Catholic School . Usually she slept through the class.

One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping. 'Tell me Mary Margaret, who created the universe?'

When Mary Margaret didn't stir little Johnny, who was her friend sitting behind her, took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear.

'God Almighty!' shouted Mary Margaret.
The Nun said, 'Very good' and continued teaching her class.

A little later the Nun asked Mary Margaret, 'Who is our Lord and Savior?'

But Mary didn't stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to her rescue and stuck Mary Margaret in the butt.

'Jesus Christ!!!' shouted Mary Margaret and the Nun once again said, 'Very good,' and Mary Margaret fell back asleep.

The Nun asked her a third question...'What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'

Again, Johnny came to the rescue.
This time Mary Margaret jumped up and shouted, ' If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'

The nun fainted.

[arnibjorn]

Thats funny

[Kristjan PGT]

Guð gaf karlmönnum heila og typpi en bara ekki nógu mikið blóðmagn til að geta stjórnað báðu í einu, Konur hafa hinsvegar hvorugt og því þurfa þær að tappa af sér einu sinni í mánuði

[Alpina]

Guð gaf karlmönnum heila og typpi en bara ekki nógu mikið blóðmagn til að geta stjórnað báðu í einu, Konur hafa hinsvegar hvorugt og því þurfa þær að tappa af sér einu sinni í mánuði

Þetta var ruddalegt en ótrúlega hnyttið samt

[Kristjan PGT]

Guð gaf karlmönnum heila og typpi en bara ekki nógu mikið blóðmagn til að geta stjórnað báðu í einu, Konur hafa hinsvegar hvorugt og því þurfa þær að tappa af sér einu sinni í mánuði

Þetta var ruddalegt en ótrúlega hnyttið samt

Maður hefur nú ekki beint orðspor á sér fyrir að vera pen

[HAMAR]

Little Johnny walks into his parents room, only to find his parents going at it rather feverishly.
His dad notices this, bursts out laughing and tells him to get out.
Soon after the father hears a commotion coming from his mothers room downstairs, and races in to investigate.
There he see's Little Johnny wildly taking the old woman from behind.
The father bellows "WHAT THE F@*K ARE YOU DOING?".
Johnny turns to his father and says- "Not so funny when it's your mother is it!"

[demi]

Veit ekki hvort þessi var kominn eeeeeeeen,,


Hvernig veistu hvenær kona er að fara að segja eitthvað gáfulegt?
Hún byrjar setninguna á "hann sagði..."

[HAMAR]

How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex?
One of his fingers is clean.

[Joibs]

How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex?
One of his fingers is clean.

hahaha...

[siggir]

Nú hef ég heyrt og hef fyrir satt að Jóhanna Sigurðardóttir sé alls ekki vinur litla mannsins. Einnig hef ég heyrt að sambýliskona hennar sé oft á gráu svæði.