While going down the road the other day
I was 4 mph over the limit,
I passed over a bridge only to find a cop with radar gun on the other side laying in wait.
The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with the classic patronizing smirk we all know and love asked, "whats your hurry?"
To which I replied, "I'm late for work"
"Oh yea," said the cop, "what do you do?"
"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.
The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? and just does a rectum stretcher do?"
"Well, I said, I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up two,then three,then four, by then with the whole hand, I work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then slowly but surely stretch, until it's about 6 feet wide."
"And then what the hell do you do with a 6 feet wide ***hole".
To which I politely replied, " you give him a radar gun and park him beside a bridge.."
The look on that cops face: PRICELESS!
